I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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