Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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