I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
