I think im going to throw up on grandma
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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