Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
