He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
