Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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