Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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