nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
