I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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