That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize