well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
