I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
