I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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