you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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