Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i think im in europe. pls send help
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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