i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
