I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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