Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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