curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
