thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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