K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
