Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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