i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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