I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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