Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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