you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize