Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
