If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize