I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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