The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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