yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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