I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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