I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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