I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
