mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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