I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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