you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
They have beer where we have blood.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
