Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
