The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
