you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
