You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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