Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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