Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
