just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize