It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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