But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
