You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
