I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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