i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
