Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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