i think my tv is drunk
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
