Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize