I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal