Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket