How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
