I want to stick my p in your. b.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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