Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
