this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
