Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
